" What Hurts The Most "

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty houseThat don't bother meI can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em outI'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even thoughGoin' on with you gone still upsets meThere are days every now and again I pretend I'm okayBut that's not what gets meWhat hurts the mostWas being so closeAnd havin' so much to sayAnd watchin' you walk awayAnd never knowin'What could've beenAnd not seein' that lovin' youIs what I was tryin' to doIt's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I goBut I'm doin' itIt's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm aloneStill harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regretBut I know if I could do it overI would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heartThat I left unspokenWhat hurts the mostIs being so closeAnd havin' so much to say(Much to say)And watchin' you walk awayAnd never knowin'What could've beenAnd not seein' that lovin' youIs what I was tryin' to do, ohOh yeahWhat hurts the mostWas being so closeAnd havin' so much to say(To say)And watchin' you walk awayAnd never knowin'What could've beenAnd not seein' that lovin' youIs what I was tryin' to doNot seein' that lovin' youThat's what I was trying to do, ooo

Sometimes I Just Wonder

Truth be told, that my childhood was not the greatest. Hey, I know alot have it or had it worse than I did...But I would love to travel the world like my brother and sister did, I was given to my grandmother and grandfather when I was a baby from my biological parents. I was told that I was going to inherit alot at the time of my grandparents passing. When that time was reached I did not benefit nothing. Where did it all go? What happened to the thousands of thousands of dollars that was supposed to be mines?
Many years have passed and now I am living with my parents and they think I owe them something? They think they can talk to me the way they do? They actually think they DID something for me? Well reality check what have you done for me lately? Absolutely nothing!!!!!! I am a cancer survivor and I thank god everyday, every chance I have for all his blessings, I thank god for all his glory and most importantly I thank god for all his grace. But, I am human and I do have feelings and I deserve more from my mother and father. They walk around like nothing. They have more concern for my older brothers financial crisis, shit I was in need of love and affection from a mother and father during my cancer battle, but fuck who was there to walk with me and help me my best friend and his wife....I owe them a shit load and I thank god for blessing me with friends like them both. All I got from my mother and father was excuses..." We have no money to fly up there"? Wow, I see the true colors. I thought I was there bloodline but I see that they only cater to the older brother and my sister. NO hard feelings but I still deserve better. I now realize who the most important lady is in my life and it is Aunty Angie cause atleast she did her best in caring for me and she did her best in showing me love and affection during my teenage years.
Well, I can go on and on with this shit but I am just getting all rawled up. I just let this pass and just realize that its the past and just look forward. But this shit still hurts and pisses the fuck outta me....
shoots...going moemoe....